Mothering a Teen

My Saturday started and ended with this guy. Kahit medyo napagod ako sa biyahe ko going north to south to east then north again, I was so happy kasi he experienced many firsts today.

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High School Life Away from Home

The boy has been homeschooled since fifth grade. We are currently finishing fourth quarter of our grade 7 school year. There's an overlap, but everything will be sorted out very soon. Today, he starts grade 8 "away from home" -- in a new school, meeting new friends, taking on new challenges, and entering high school in a totally different environment. I was the one feeling butterflies in my stomach while on our way to school this morning. I am getting teary-eyed and feeling emotional as I write this. Ewan ko ba! Bahala na what I will write about. Ako talaga ang may separation anxiety. I never expected I'd feel this way.

2015                                                                    2017

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Family Friday: Dealing with Scoliosis

Around June or July, my husband was playfully massaging and tickling the boy and was surprised to feel a curve along his spine. We never noticed it before and when I checked, there was indeed a curve to the right. We suspected it to be scoliosis. He never had any complaints with his back or spine so I overlooked it for months. When I had my 3D mammogram and bone densitomerty last October, I remembered his spine and inquired about a scoliosis checkup. Eventually, we consulted a doctor and he was diagnosed with scoliosis. He recommended an x-ray immediately.

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Family Friday: All About J & M's Painting and Anime Drawings

Second Friday of the month: Hobbies / Recreation / Kids

Ever since my kids were little, drawing has been one of their hobbies and a favorite activity for quiet time. I've featured some of their past works years ago on the blog and on Instagram as #ArtOfJandM. It's only recently that I've started taking notice again of what they've been creating. Please indulge me as I share some of their more current artworks that triggered some proud mommy moments for me. I am hard to please when it comes to my kids' works, but napabilib din nila ako with their latest artworks. :)

THE BOY

His doodling got less and less over the years, and homeschooling made it possible for him to explore art again. Noon puro robots and original game characters ang drawing niya. This year, he began taking painting classes at Art Smart. They teach him basic painting techniques and use acrylic on canvas.

Teacher said he is skilled, but sometimes tends to rush his projects. I've observed that he needs to be more meticulous and patient, and should work more neatly. Minsan ang daming patak ng paint on the sides and teacher will help him cover and clean it pa! Here are some of his works so far and I am looking for a spot in the house for each of them. =)

This painting below is for me. I'll claim this. =) He initially chose a blue and orange photo of a different jelly fish, but I wanted this more colorful version. It took me some time to convince him and told him to paint it for me, hehehe. Eventually, he obliged but did not quite finish... he missed some shading and shadows, but tinamad na kasi time is up na daw! Haaay!

He's currently working on this cupcake. Once he's done, I'll share the finished work on Instagram. =)

THE GIRL

Drawing cartoons was always her favorite and she knows she's getting better at it. Pero she has her moods -- sometimes she will hide her work coz it's private daw, and there are days when she will request me to take a picture agad and let me post it on Instagram. She still prefers pencil drawings and rarely colors her works.

From creating her own animal characters to animé illustrations, she now gained the confidence to teach her classmates who are interested to learn and draw anime. Here are two mystical characters from a series she made last month.

M's latest drawings are all about anime girls. Since school started last June, she's been bringing home some of her doodles and comics. Earlier today, she created another original character named Necko Chan. Her characters all have "Chan" daw at the end of their names... don't ask me why! I can't understand her explanation, heehee.  

Here's a sample. May frontal rendition and side view. Mahirap daw yung side view, she is still practicing.

Their school is now on their term break, so she asked me if she can invite friends over and they can draw. Kaya bigla tuloy ako napa-organize ng "anime drawing workshop" dito sa bahay! M and another classmate with be the "teachers" for beginners and advanced levels.

Everything is almost set, and I am all out to support this hobby coz I also enjoyed drawing even as a kid. In this digital era, drawing with a pencil on paper is as organic as you can get when it comes to expressing one's creativity. Especially for the younger generation, it makes them appreciate art even more since it's their original work, drawn by hand. No gadgets, no complicated or high-tech materials needed. Just pure inspired drawings that spark their imagination.

"This is you, mommy. I copied the exact shirt and shorts you're wearing now, see...?" 

I look so young in that drawing diba, hahahaha. But at least she got the ponytail right.

"I can't do boys. Ok... I'm going to draw our family..."  

This was a stolen shot, kasi hindi pa ata tapos, but I love it already. =)

More of our family's art:

fun-friday-art-of-j-m.html

fun-friday-whats-your-favorite-hobby.html

fun-friday-micro-toys-and-crafts-for-lps.html

I'd love to know your thoughts on this post.  If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it!
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Family Friday: Keep Calm and Carry On with Homeschool

Second Friday of the month: Parenting / Education

We just started our new school year this month and the boy is now grade 7.  I can't believe we are on our third year of homeschool! It doesn't get any easier, and to be honest, there are more days where I still find it hard to find joy in our homeschooling journey.  Kaya I continue to seek inspiration from successful homeschoolers and from online resources.

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Family Friday: Our Homeschool Journey Continues

Second Friday of the month: Parenting / Schooling

I'm giving the boy two more weeks to complete the last quarter and close the school year. I am on panic mode since end of May. We are delayed (as expected), and just like last year, his year-end testing and assessment with our academic adviser is set at the end of this month. He'll be done with grade 6. He is going to be graduating from middle school and the ceremony is scheduled at the end of September. I can't believe we will have a graduate and that we made it through two years of homeschooling!!!

At Magellan's Cross, which was part of his Philippine history lesson

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Mom-Finds: Urban Kid-Style for Tots to Teens from ZIPPY

Last Friday of the month:  Mom-Finds / Kid-Style / Shopping 

I love shopping for my children's clothes as much as I do mine, and what thrills me even more is finding quality and fashionable kids' apparel at reasonable prices. We all know how kids can quickly outgrow their clothes and shoes so I always consider affordability but without sacrificing comfort and style. Here's great news for moms like me -- my girl and I recently discovered ZIPPY from Portugal and I'm now sharing our latest fashion finds here! ZIPPY joins my short list of favorite kid stores.

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Family Friday: On Raising a Tween Boy

Second Friday of the month:  Parenting / Kids 

I was a first-time mom to a healthy baby boy almost twelve years ago. In less than two weeks, my boy will turn twelve, and according to him, he's already a "tween"... since he was 10! I don't want him to turn 12. I don't feel it yet. Or maybe I am just in denial. Whatever. I am not ready to raise a tween!

Summer 2015

So, how do you raise a tween boy?

Honestly, I feel as clueless as I was when I had him. I don't have the right answers to that. I'm still figuring it out while trying to educate myself by reading parenting stuff online and asking friends with teen boys. It's a scary stage for me, this puberty thing, even more than the baby phase.

With puberty, you don't know what they're thinking and feeling na kasi, so extra attention is needed. He's an inquisitive and sensitive boy, and has challenges on the socio-emotional level so I know we have to listen more and be mindful of what we say to him.

There are days na hindi ko pa rin siya matimpla even if we are always together, homeschooling for over a year now. He's not the type to bring up a topic and try to converse with me, unlike my girl who is naturally chatty. =) It's really an effort to open up and initiate a conversation with him kasi we don't have much in common. And then there's sex education. We haven't touched that topic yet. I'm scared!!! When? I don't know yet. I have to know what he knows first, and will take off from there. I know that J has his one-on-one moments with him and it's easier for them kasi they can talk about boy stuff on top of some philosophical discussions about life in general, which is great. In my time, I had none of those moments or conversations with my parents. But I got by and I think I turned out okay. =)

Puberty -- the awkward stage. A time of transition and self-discovery. The signs are there. The changes are happening. His character and personality are taking shape. He's growing up -- emotionally, intellectually, and vertically. But he lacks maturity for his age. Feeling ko I am scared to enter this new phase coz I'm unsure of my "plan of attack". 

To give me a better grasp of this transitional stage, I asked a few friends who have teen boys about their experience on how to raise a tween. The common advise I got is to make time and really be present for my tween. Here are the valuable tips and insights that they generously shared with me, and can be applied to all tweens, boys and girls:

Rose Fausto, mom of 3 boys (ages 25, 22, and youngest turning 19 next month)
My big tip is really for parents to BE THERE. 
Be there from the very start...
to teach them the values your family stands for
to implement rules
to see their strengths and what makes them tick
to have fun and to gain their trust
...so that when they grow older, they’ll continue to be open to you. Can you imagine a tween boy asking for your advice about matters of the heart or bullying or anything for that matter if you had not been there all these years? No way, it would be very tedious for him to give you the entire background of the long story that you missed! ☹ 
Learn more from Rose at: FQ Mom
Rose wrote a poem entitled BE THERE and she shared this video with me. Listen to the heart-warming poem here: 

Jen Tan, mom of 2 boys (ages 14 and second turning 11 next month)
Try to spend as much time with your teenage boy. I never believed in quality time naman talaga but quantity time is so much more important now (because) I feel they hardly talk! So spend as much time as you can. Kasi if they're not talkative, you want to be there when they do talk.
Also, learn to listen. And think before you speak. 
One thing I learned from a talk by Bo Sanchez is that there are 3 stages for parents:
  1. Parent - as in, lead your child and teach your child
  2. Coach - you stay on the sidelines and watch your kid learn

  He can make mistakes too, but you're just there to "alalay" (guide/support). You can also call him to be able to give tips (like a coach).
  3. Consultant - you only give your opinions when asked
Learn more from Jen at: Attached At The Hip

Janice Villanueva, mom of 2 boys (ages 18 and 16) and a girl
1. Make time for a one-on-one with your tween.
Even if or when he or she seemingly becomes secretive or anti social, just keep setting dates with them to keep the bond and to communicate to them that you're always around no matter what. 
2. It may be difficult in certain stages and if your child is the opposite gender, but it's good to find some common interest. It can be major things, like learning a new sport together, but it can also be something minor and mundane, like when my eldest and I went thru a milk tea phase. 
It's also good to show interest in something they like. If it will entail your learning a bit of Minecraft, do it. If you need to get on YouTube to find out who their fave stars are, then take some time to do that too. These will not only give you something to bond on and talk about but will also make you stay the cool mom that you are. =)
3. Now more than ever, parent according to your child's personality.
As your child goes from tween to teen to adult, these little seeds you plant of talking and bonding in small ways will go a long way! (It) builds trust and connections even as they go and find themselves.
Learn more from Janice at: My Mundo

My heartfelt thanks to these rockstar moms -- Rose, Jen, and Janice, for your words of wisdom.

I also want my boy to learn good values and more life skills, to have a more positive outlook in life, to have courage and take some risks, to be more respectful and in tune to the world around him. This article from Huffingtong Post that I recently came across on FB really hits the bullseye. I can definitely relate. Please read 10 Things I Want My Son to Learn Before He Becomes a Teenager, by By Shannon Ralph. This is like a wish list from a mom with a tween boy and she basically summed up what I want for my boy too.

It's a tricky stage we're in. There are still so many issues to tackle and I'm overwhelmed at this point. Ang hirap maging magulang! First, I think I need to be nicer to him and to listen more, so he'll be more open to me. =)

Did you learn something from these moms? I know I did! And I will really try to heed their advice. Effort na kung effort. Do you have tips for me too? Please share!
Pray for us and wish us luck on raising our tween!

I'd love to know your thoughts on this post.  If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it!
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Hot and Cheesy Makes an Angry Whopper

Not all burgers are created equal. In my family, we have our own favorites from each burger shop we dine at. For fast food burger chains, this is the only one that got me hooked on it's unique flame-grilled, cheeeeesy, spicy, juicy whopper of a burger. Yep, I'm talking about the one and only king... Burger King! And look, I found a new favorite -- mouth-watering Angry 4-Cheese Whopper!!!

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Fun Friday: The Artsy and The Sporty

Third Friday of the month:  School Events

This is a proud-mommy-moment kind of post. I know I don't say it enough. Oftentimes, I just say "good job" or "you did great", but rarely do I say "I'm so proud of you" whenever they accomplish something significant. Sometimes, I share their works or activities on my IG and FB. Kaya eto na lang ang short tribute ko to show how proud I am with my two highly spirited kids. Both recently had their respective culminating events -- one in the arts and the other in sports.

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Fun Friday: The Boy Goes To Congress

Third Friday of the month: Field Trip / Tour

What are the three branches of government? Who is your representative? Who presides over the House of Representatives?  
These are just a few of the questions from the boy's current social studies lesson for the first quarter. We're learning about types of government around the world, and also about the Philippine government. Parang nag-aaral din ulit ako coz I really didn't have any interest about this topic ever since I was a student. A field trip is always a good thing. It creates excitement for a rather unappealing topic or lesson. Here, we were able to visit congress and gain a better understanding of what we're trying to study, and also for me to teach the subject better.

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Kid-Style: Rain-Ready OOTDs

Rainy season is here and I'm both happy and sad. Since it's back to school also, rainy days can be a major inconvenience and cause class suspensions. On the upside, it's always fun to dress up and have different sets of outerwear to keep us dry, especially for my kids. As a practical shopper, I always check out SM Kids for trendy and affordable outfits for my tween boy and sporty girl.

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Family Friday: New Homeschooling Year

Second Friday of the month: Schooling / Parenting

We did it! First year of homeschooling is over. The boy is now grade 6. It was a rocky road for both of us since June last year and I didn't want to rant or share anything negative here. For those of you following my blog, you may have noticed that I was not blogging as much as I used to, and haven't been attending events as often. I have to make those choices to spend more time homeschooling. It was not fun at all, I tell you, but it's all worth it.

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First Art Exhibit of The Boy and The Girl

Two weekends ago, the TMA Summer Art Class had their exhibit at Galerie Stephanie as their culminating activity. The students all did amazingly well and the families went to support them. I have to say I am a very proud, thankful and happy mom to have a boy and a girl who are both artistically inclined. Drawing has been a hobby for them since they were preschoolers. After years of asking them to take art lessons, they finally did it together this summer.

It's actually my frustration to learn how to paint. I want them to learn too, so I can display their artwork at home. But through the years, they continue with their pencil drawings even if they were introduced to watercolor, oil pastels and markers. You can see some of their works with the hashtag I created for them: #ArtOfJandM. See how the boy's "teapot from a different dimension" project turned out below.

The girl took basic art classes two summers ago, while the boy never continued after a few trial classes. He got bored. Their recent summer art class with TMA, which will be credited to the boy's homeschool art subject, got them together for the first time, and was a promising step towards taking more art classes.  Check out the progress of their self-portraits above. =)

The kids were fortunate that they were taught by contemporary abstractionists, Camille Ver. With over 10 years of being a professional artist, she guided the kids on creating their own masterpieces, shared a bit of art history, and exposed them to different materials.

From the classroom to the gallery, it was a very enriching experience for my kids and myself (coz I'm the one bringing them to class every week, and sometimes, I stay in the room for the whole session). At the exhibit, all the kids' works were displayed, with their portraits professionally framed.

First was their name in art, followed by their self-portrait, then their interpretation of summer, and at the bottom is their perspective and rendition of the teapots. That's Camille standing beside M's works.

Each of them had four artworks that they can sell or keep. Teacher Camille pegged the prices at PhP500 each, except for the frame portrait which was priced at PhP750.

Of course, the kids had mixed feelings since they don't want to part with their "creations" daw, but were tempted at the prospects of earning from their work.

The boy used mainly primary colors for his art. His sister said he looks like an old man! Hahahaha! I think it's the glasses. =)

Can you still spot the dragon from his initial sketch? 

My girl uses all bright and sunny colors for her artworks. I was actually surprised she used pink for the background on the last one.  She said she's over pink already and wanted to try other colors. I guess she'll always love pink.

Here are the kids, checking out their classmates' works.

The exhibit showcased works from the younger kids too.

Before the end of the program, the boy "sold" his pieces to the grannies and the girl sold hers to daddy. Each of their sets were sold for a package price of PhP2,000. They were assured that their artwork will stay at home, so they took the tempting offer and bought a toy from their "profit" before we headed home, hahahaha! =)

All I can say is that the kids had a wonderful experience and wanted to attend more classes. I have no objections. =) 

Here they are with their certificates from the TMA class coordinator. Thanks, teacher Camille, for being patient with the makulit kids. =) You can view some of Camille's amazing works here in Galerie Stephanie's site. 

I'd love to know your thoughts on this post.  If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it!
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Family Friday: Drums Recital and Tour of Plaza San Luis, Intramuros

Happy 117th Philippine Independence Day to all Filipinos around the world!

Great timing that I'm featuring my boy's recent drums recital held at Casa Blanca in Intramuros, Manila. If you know your Philippine history, Intramuros, known as the walled city, used to be the seat of power during the Spanish colonization. The declaration of our independence from colonial Spain was held in Kawit, Cavite on June 12, 1898.

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Fun Friday: Quick Trip to Museo ng Katipunan in San Juan

I enjoy going to museums, maybe even more than my kids coz I like learning about history, which has fascinated me since I was a student. My boy is now a fifth grader and we are currently studying Philippines history as part of his social studies subject. One important aspect of our history is the Katipunan, and luckily, the only museum dedicated to that topic is in our home city of San Juan.

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Mom-Friday Homeschool Conversations - 10.14.2014

We're in our Q2 (second quarter) of homeschooling and I am still feeling the pressure, the adjustments (the boy is more adjusted than me!), and struggling with ways to teach and think outside the box. I guess I still have not shaken off the mindset of teaching methods in conventional schooling and comparing with the progress of other kids in his level. 

As we attack each week, with a combination of enthusiasm and trepidation, I have come to appreciate the flexibility of our schedule. The best part is having the time and opportunity for my boy to enjoy moments of discoveries, and indulge in his unique interests.

Getting started with coding and game creations

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Family Friday: Homeschool, Back Pains, and Blogging

Second Friday of the month: Parenting / Schooling / Health

As I write this, my mind is still as disorganized as the table I have in front of me. I've been remiss of my other household responsibilities ever since we started homeschooling, and I've also been neglecting my health, and even this blog. Let me warn you, I am not thinking straight right now and this post might end up like a confessional of sorts. I'm uninspired, tired, sleepy all the time. There were nights when my mind tells me to write and blog about a mishmash of ideas running in my head, or read a book, or draw, or loom, but my body would rather do nothing.  I just feel drained at the end of the day.

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Family Friday: The Beauty and Logic of Singapore Math

Second Friday of the month:  Schooling / Education

Before anything else, I'll share what is Singapore Mathematics according to the principal of Marshall Cavendish Institute (see full video here):

"Singapore Math is the way we teach Mathematics to children in Singapore in the way that we help the child succeed:

Struggling learners - will learn enough to progress to the next stage

 Average learners - able to perform at a higher level

Advanced learners - abilities will be challenged

To students, it's a way of learning that allow every single one to learn Mathematics well.

To teachers, it's a way of teaching Math such that they do not need to have specialist knowledge to be able to do the job; materials and textbooks will allow them to learn the Math they need to teach.

To the systems/schools, it's a way to help increase the level of proficiency of the children."

- Dr. Yeap Ban Har

Singapore Math, as developed by Marshall Cavendish Education:

"Learning mathematics is more than just numbers, sets of rules or formulas.

It teaches us a way of thinking critically, a method of solving problems.

Materials developed equip students with problem-solving skills and critical thinking skills necessary for life." - www.mceducation.sg

I attended a talk on teaching Singapore Math at my girl's school last year, which was conducted by none other than Dr. Yeap Ban Har, who also provides teacher training for the school's faculty members. I clearly remember him saying that it sounded funny hearing people say "Singapore Math", 'coz for him, there's nothing "Singaporean" about Mathematics. It's just arithmetic. And then proceeded to share that Singapore's approach to teaching and learning math was a result of decades of research to find ways to help Singaporean students perform better in school.

When I was still studying, Math and Filipino were my stronger subjects.  I don't know why, but that was the trend until college. But that doesn't mean I'm good at accounting and finance - these were my waterloo, my lowest grades went to those subjects! Until now, I'm allergic to those areas so I stay as far away from those topics! =)

Anyhow, being a tutor to my kids, I learned about the Singapore approach and realized that's how I process (math) in my head - that's why I love Singapore Math! I get it! BUT, and a big BUT - knowing how is different from teaching it! It's quite a challenge to patiently go through the steps with each equation. It's a longer way, yes. But only at the beginning. 

Step by step, the method requires you to use concrete materials, then illustrate the process, and finish with the numbers.  Eventually, this will reveal the "fast" approach to arriving at the answer with a conceptual understanding of the problem. The exercises in the books will help students compute faster as they progress and go to next level.  That is the fundamental learning theory applied to Singapore Math. Watch this short video to know what I'm talking about:

Singapore Math = Concrete > Pictorial > Abstract (CPA approach)

Concrete materials, following the theory of Jerome Bruner, using symbolic or concrete representation
Pictorial, use of visuals
Abstract symbols = Numbers in equations

CPA approach harps conceptual learning, on critical thinking and problem solving; avoids memorizing, rote counting, eliminates tedious processes; adds layers to learning, not rushed. It's how you arrive at the answer that's more important - as Dr. Yeap quipped, we can always use the calculator to get the answer! Totoo naman! =)

My key learning from Dr. Yeap:

Learn beyond basic, process is more important than answer.

Mathematics is a vehicle = Focus is on problem-solving, critical thinking, and 21st century competencies

I am currently trying to apply his tips and techniques below. The Scaffolding technique has been very effective especially when doing problem solving exercises. I have to admit, my patience is being stretched every day. The use of white board has been very helpful, but I may need to get my hands on more concrete materials and visual aids.

Teaching Tips:

• Visual learning for young kids, pre schoolers = use materials to help visualization to solve math problems.
• If kids cant explain, do not teach. Ex. for low level skills to teach high level thinking
• Any method they know, break in smaller groups to get answer

Teaching Techniques:

• Modeling - read by parts, show and verbalize thoughts on solving the word problem
• Example: Model cognitive behavior - don't rush task, read a little at a time, skip reading the number
• Scaffolding- prompt and build by asking question from the word problem

5 Things to be Mathematically Proficient

1. Visualization
2. Look for trends, patterns, methods
3. Number sense
4. Mental cognition - managing conditions, brain process
5. Communication - understand and be understood

Strategy to teach SPED kids

1. Concrete ways - work with materials (virtual manipulatives here)
2. Structure, set expectations
3. Group learning, but teach proper social behavior

See and analyze the sample illustrations below, and try to solve them too, the Sing-Math way! =)

(Grabbed from albums in Marshall Cavendish Institute on Facebook)

Try this, mentally, it's brilliant!

I'm scared of fractions - but I got the process of this one. 

This was challenging. I got the answer, the traditional way, but not the Sing-Math process.

As a parent-tutor-teacher, I am interested and eager to learn how to properly and effectively teach this method of Mathematics to my kids. We've been using the Singapore-made My Pals Are Here books since 2010. I appreciate the methods and CPA approach developed for teaching and learning Math better. The books/materials were meticulously designed and planned with that goal in mind. Believe me, it really makes learning/teaching Math a little more fun and interesting, heehee. =)

Having a better understanding and appreciation of the Singapore Math approach will give me more confidence in teaching the kids, especially now that the boy is homeschooling. Truth be told, I look forward to our Math time than Language and Social Studies classes! =)

Are you a parent with school kids? Are they learning Math the Singapore way?

References:

Marshall Cavendish Education - Math Curriculum

Dr. Yeap Ban Har's blog

I'd love to know your thoughts on this post.  If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it!
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