Family Friday: Homeschool, Back Pains, and Blogging

Second Friday of the month: Parenting / Schooling / Health

As I write this, my mind is still as disorganized as the table I have in front of me. I've been remiss of my other household responsibilities ever since we started homeschooling, and I've also been neglecting my health, and even this blog. Let me warn you, I am not thinking straight right now and this post might end up like a confessional of sorts. I'm uninspired, tired, sleepy all the time. There were nights when my mind tells me to write and blog about a mishmash of ideas running in my head, or read a book, or draw, or loom, but my body would rather do nothing.  I just feel drained at the end of the day.

A few weeks ago, I found these witty and humorous Aunty Acid posters online so I started sharing them on my IG and FB too. I hope you don't mind. Some of them really hit the bullseye when it comes to my current state of mind, like that one above. =)  Anyway, I just feel my energy is at an all time low, with back pains getting worse by the day. Before, I used to call up my mom and my girl friends every week. I want to be able to find time to do that again. I was also click-happy and enjoy posting random photos everyday on my Instagram and Facebook, but lately, I'm lucky if I can squeeze in one decent image a day to share. I have a business idea that has been on hold for like two years already and I can't seem to get it started. I have so many plans with my blog too, yet not enough time and energy to implement at this point. I can't even attend events anymore. I became highly irritable, grouchy, and sad to say, a nag. J noticed it too. I think I wrote that already in a previous post? See, I'm becoming forgetful too! I'm fortunate to have dependable house help so I don't have to worry about chores.  I still do some simple cooking, but not everyday.

What's happening to me?!? I feel there's an imbalance and it is majorly affecting how I am as a wife, a mom, a friend, and now as a parent-teacher.  I know I need to snap out of this rut! Have any of you experienced anything similar?

I know for a fact that our homeschooling has taken a toll on my overall wellness -- yes, emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, social. It's a completely new way of life for me, for my family, and there are days I feel really lost and alone.  This is totally outside my comfort zone.  It's only been 7 weeks and I feel so much pressure. I had my share of crazy crying moments and self-doubt and believe me, I wanted to throw in the towel already.  But the boy depends on me and I know I have to get myself together for him.  Just yesterday, when I was losing my patience again and was starting to shout, he said: "I don't like it when you shout." He said he wants this and he doesn't want to go back to school anymore.  I told him we need to help each other to make this work. I almost cried again. It's frustrating. Haaayyy... I need your prayers! Incidentally, there is a homeschooling conference this September, which I plan to attend.  I'm sharing the poster here for those of you who are curious and interested to know more about homeschooling. You may want to consider attending this. I hope to get more insights there and learn from veteran homeschoolers so I can be a better parent-teacher.
Avail of the early bird rate until August 15.
Click here to learn more about the schedule and speakers.

For now, I just want us to finish the first quarter and see how we can move forward. We have so much to learn. God, please grant me loads of patience and creativity of a dozen people, maybe more!

Since I'm a full time homemaker, I crave for (face-to-face) social interaction with adults. I always look forward to my monthly dinner with my barkada, casual get-togethers with the SoMoms, or impromptu lunch dates with J. I just need to talk to people other than helpers and children! One time, I told my girl that mommy needs a vacation or at least a day off. She won't let me. (At this age, they are still clingy, and I need to savor this phase 'coz I know they won't be like this anymore in a few years time). I know I need major doses of mental stimulation and a new nutrition plan, stat! I can't deny it's the age too. I promised myself to at least try to attend a pilates class. My back badly needs it. I received a one-month pass at Onelife Studio so I'll be taking advantage of that very soon.

While I continue to adjust to our new "lifestyle", I find comfort in food and being online. It's an instant escape for me, and I'm happy to have my friends online to add color to my day.  Of course J and the kids will always be my light at the end of the day. But seriously, eating relaxes me, and also chatting with friends, and browsing pictures on Instagram. Those are my instant guilty pleasures. =) I know it's not healthy, but it's fun and keeps me entertained. It helps me sleep too.

At this point, I'm trying to be on track with our goals for homeschooling. Beyond that, I know I have to take care of myself first, so I can take care of my family and be a better wife and mom.  I have to feel good about myself again.  

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