Senti Summer

Earlier today, we took out M's old Instax to check if the films are still usable. I got to take selfies with each one and got the prints immediately. Iba yung feeling na hawak mo na yung picture compared to scrolling through files and photos from albums in our phones or computer. It's been years since I had our digital photos printed. Holding and looking at these prints brought me back to their toddler years. Ewan ko ba kung anong nakain ko at bigla ako naging senti today. Hence, I blog.

It was a strange feeling kanina. I had flashbacks of their younger years when I could still carry them in my arms. While I was looking at these pictures, I was simultaneously checking my calendar. We had a full day of classes today and a month filled with more activities for the boy and the girl. Next month is full as well.

I feel happy just looking at the photos kasi they were both in a good mood kanina and was willing to indulge me with a selfie. Minsan lang yan! Most days napipilitan lang or magiging wacky yung pose.

So what triggered this senti mood? Hindi pa naman siguro ako menopausal no? Nag-muni-muni tuloy ako ng di oras. 

Two thoughts came to mind...

Thought # 1
Summer 2017 is our busiest ever. Both of them have very specific interests now and they chose what programs to take up during the break. They're growing older and I cannot decide for them anymore.

Never naging hectic ang summer namin before. J and I don't want to have overscheduled children, whether during the school year or summer break. Generally, we have a relaxed schedule despite having a number of outside-the-home classes for the homeschooled boy. In our past summer vacations, the kids were enrolled in just 1 program, 2 at most, or none at all.

(Tap courses to see where they are enrolled.)
M is enrolled in 3 different activities in between playdates and field trips:
Big brother J is enrolled in 5, all credited subjects for homeschool:
 - Swimming (P.E.), Drums (Music), Coding (TLE), Filipino Reading and Writing, and Torch (Character and Life Skills)

Mas nakakapagod sa dakilang alalay (that's me) but I see that they are having fun... so far. As long as they learn something new and improve their skills and come out as better individuals, we will support them.

Thought # 2
They are still needy and continue to want my company. In relation to thought #1, we are together every day but I still have a lot to discover about the girl and the boy. I want them to be more open to me.

Medyo clingy pa rin sila and I realized I have to milk this phase, this season in their lives, where the boy still holds my hand while walking, where the girl still wants to sit on my lap during a car ride, while they still want to hang out with me. Hanggang kailang kaya?

I want to be present for them at this stage. I consider it a privilege to be a stay-at-home-mom and be able to be with them everyday. It's still a balancing act and I know I have to take care of myself and my husband too (I shared my birthday musings here). At this stage, feeling ko I am still the center of their universe (ayan, Wonder Woman nga eh, heehee) despite our quarrels and frustrations with each other. Soon, my kids will prefer to be with their friends and do their own thing without me. Ayaw ko munang isipin. For now, sige lang...let them be clingy. This will be a summer to remember.

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