10.24.2013

Mommy The Grouch

It's been 1 month and 4 days since we had no help with the kids.  This has been the longest we've gone without a nanny after 10 years.  Read my back story here - Surviving without a yaya.  

Not having one at this stage is really no problem. Since the boy and the girl are big enough, they can fend for themselves already. We know it's the best for everyone.  BUT, like what J expressed last night, we've become naggers.  Sad, but true, especially for me since I spend a longer time with them and I get impatient very easily.  They've been sleeping in our room since last month and we see every clutter, every move, night and day.  Constant reminders and warnings, and picking up after them... these are getting on our nerves.  I feel I'm failing at trying to be a progressive parent! I know it's bad, but sometimes, I feel they are getting to be so annoying lately! Nag, nag, and nag.  I'm getting really tired with my own nagging.

Time to take a bath... milk time... pack away... no more snacking... put your clothes in the hamper... did you brush na?  Pleeeaaaseee...

Please don't mess up our bed... done with homework?
2 more minutes... 1 more minute... it's time.... do you like me to keep on reminding you what to do?  Ano baaaaa?!!

Why do you like me to keep on reminding you what to do?
I'm so tired of reminding you!
How many times do I have to tell you?
Hay naku!

Wow...I got tired just by thinking about what I've been saying.  Paulit-ulit.  I even told my boy he needs to record my reminders so I don't have to say it anymore.

Friends can vouch that I'm a very calm and patient person.  However, I think having spirited children wiped that out of my system! I easily snap back at them on the most petty things.  I do feel guilty afterwards and just had to take a step back and calm down, even modulating the tone of my voice so they know I'm not angry at them, but I'm serious.  My deep well of patience is almost dry.  

I am such a grouch lately, and I don't like it.
I'm not in the mood to "work" - major backlog, even for this blog.  Sometimes, I just want to go back to sleep after sending them off to school.  But I can't.  I want to be my cheery old self again. I look forward to quick lunch dates with J.  I want some light and fun conversations with friends, face to face ha! =)

Have you ever felt like this?  How did you cope?

Of course, light moments like these ease the stress away.
(Posted earlier on my Instagram)
video

Going on our second month, I am hoping we can get more settled and relaxed with our new routine.  I think we are all still adjusting and finding our rhythm.  Okay, I typed long enough. I want a chocolate. Now.

Note:
No photo. I don't want to post my grouchy self.

p.s.  I am re-sharing this quote/poster from my friend Tina - a good reminder before I say or do something impulsive towards my children,.
Galatians 5:22-23

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